4 Tips on Relationships with Your Grown Children

By Caitlin Watzke

Relationships with your adult children can be tricky. Theyíre not kids anymore, and you shouldnít treat them as such, but theyíre still your kids, and you want to ensure your relationship with them is nurtured in a healthy way. The key is finding the proper balance between being their parent and being their friend. Here are four ways to strengthen your relationship with your grown kids:

Give advice only when asked.
Holding your tongue will be difficult, but itís important for them to learn to solve problems on their own. There are exceptions, and you should offer guidance when they are facing a major crisis. However, on a daily basis, try to refrain from putting in your two cents. Your children will come to you when they need advice, and they will appreciate your input.

Take an interest in their hobbies, or find activities that you both enjoy.

Share hobbies.
As your kids grow older, it can be a challenge to find time to spend together. Take an interest in their hobbies, or find activities that you both enjoy, and meaningful conversation will naturally follow.

Don’t make them choose sides.
As your kids get married and have their own children, scheduling conflicts will naturally arise. They might spend some holidays with their in-laws, and they will start making new family traditions. Try your best to be understanding ñ it is important for them to create traditions of their own.

Set guidelines for loans.
There may come a time when your child asks you for a loan. Be upfront with them if you are unable to help. If you decide to loan them the money, make sure your terms are clear. Determine whether you will charge them interest, and have a set schedule of when they will pay you back.